Mary Bernard

My three children insist on climbing on top of me. I can understand touching me, hugging me, and showing general affection. But most days—from the time I wake up until the time I tuck the last child in at night—I have one, two, or three children climbing on my person. Whether I’m sitting, standing, or lying down, someone is trying to climb on me.

I have been known to inadvertently step on a child who quickly scurries beneath my feet while I’m in motion. I’m not beyond walking with a child (or children) wrapped securely around an ankle, calf, or thigh. I brace for squeals of, “Horsey!” should I, unthinkingly, bend over to pick up something from the floor. That’s when a spying child seizes his or her good fortune and uses my moment of ill-conceived tidying to catapult to my back and beg for a ride.

I am a tree. I am a jungle gym. I am a mountain. I am transportation.

I am Mom—just another obstacle to be conquered.

Mommy and Susanna

Susanna, Seth, and Spencer attend preschool at Bellevue Presbyterian Church. Today was Family Picnic Day for Susanna’s class. I had lunch with Susanna and her friends outside on the playground.

It was a beautiful day for a picnic!

Grace, Libby, Susanna, and Katherine

Karley

Maddie

Jan Barnett has been cutting/coloring my hair for almost three years. Chris has been going to her for that same amount of time. We love Jan!

Today, the kids went to “Ms. Jan” for the first time. Overall, it was a great haircut experience.

Seth is so shaggy!

Susanna goes first. She really begged for a “short” hairdo. I compromised with about 2 inches off the length.

Spencer’s turn.

Beautiful new ‘do!

Seth was most wiggly of the three.

Children’s programming is oddly fascinating. Now that I have three children 5 and under, I am intimately acquainted with PBS, Disney, and Nickelodeon shows.

The boys love Pingu, which we watch on Comcast’s OnDemand. I’m not sure where or when it is broadcast. I find it odd that it even has a viewership. It makes Teletubbies look like Dateline. Really.

It’s about a family of penguins. They kind of chatter and gurgle incessantly. I have yet to follow the plot of an episode and/or understand the character relations. My boys, however, love the show.

I do find the theme song really catchy, though.

I think if I had pitched children’s programming execs a story idea of a penguin family that mutters unintelligibly, I would have been laughed out of the room.

It’s like the Baby Einstein videos. Those things that make you say, “Now why didn’t I think of that?”

All is right with the world.

My first stop will be Party City from now on.

Why is it that whatever party theme I choose is the one theme for which invitations, cupcake decorations, balloons, and party favors cannot be found?

For example, at Susanna’s third Cinderella party, I couldn’t find Cinderella. (Now she’s everywhere.) This year, the lack of Jasmine cupcake toppers nearly sent me into a crying meltdown in the Publix bakery. (Thankfully, said cupcake toppers were excavated from the bottom of the bakery cupcake decoration box just 2 hours prior to the party. I was gleefully jumping up and down in the same spot where I’d almost had a breakdown 48 hours earlier.)

Now, today, I run into Target–Target! the place where one can find anything, right?–to pick up Thomas the Train party invitations. They are already late. The boys’ party is on the 19th, and I still don’t have the invitations in the mail.

Guess what? No Thomas invitations! None. Nada. Zip. They have Spongebob, Dora, and pirates. No Thomas.

Not exactly sure where to go next.

Oh, Thomas invitations… where are you????

(And sometimes, I’m still taken aback that this is where my world revolves now.)

Yes! We REALLY did talk about the Bible.

Last weekend, the ladies of Good Shepherd Presbyterian Church went on a retreat to Monteagle. We stayed at a lovely Victorian house, which belongs to dear friends of our church family. It’s called “The Happy Castle.” That’s because one is instantaneously exuberant upon cresting the mountain!

We had a great time minding a super-loose schedule, dining out, snacking until midnight, and sleeping until 8:30 a.m. We had too much fun laughing about all the weird names of people we had known throughout our lives.

Our pastor’s wife, Diane Filson, and another woman, Carolyn Page, brought devotions and thoughts on their favorite Scriptures. We also played a few cute games, which gave us several laughs.

Debi Haggard

We tested our improv acting skills!

Lauren Kelley, Laura Coughlin, and Helen Settles

Diane Filson

Carolyn Page

Susanna turned five years old on March 31. We had a Princess Jasmine party. We had so much fun!

Seth & Spencer were thrilled to go to a party and eat cake, even if they were a little jealous none of the presents were for them!

Mimi and Nana at the party.

Easter was early this year.

It was cold! I remember when Susanna was born in 2003, she was 2 weeks old on Easter. This year, Easter was 1 week before her birthday.

Aren’t my men handsome?

Isn’t my princess beautiful?

Susanna woke up at 5 a.m. today. She said she had a bad dream, plus it was storming.

Are you surprised at all that she never went back to sleep?

I have been plopped into a family of early risers. I’m convinced this is some type of twisted Karma (I don’t really believe in Karma, but this situation certainly makes a good case for its existence) for all those mornings of my teenage years that I slept until noon. All of those school mornings that I scrambled to get ready in 20 minutes because I’d sleep until the last second. All of those Sundays my entire family was waiting for me in the car because I was too tired to get up at the right time to get ready. All of those 8 a.m. college classes that I managed to drag myself into by 8:15.

Yep–I’m being paid back really good!

So, anyway, all my kids get up early. Today was no exception.

Susanna crawled in bed with me; Chris vacated to her room to sleep his last 30 minutes. As we were trying to go back to sleep, Susanna started some deep thinking.

Somehow the conversation turned to our spending eternity with Jesus in heaven and having the opportunity to meet loved ones who had passed on before us. Sassy (our dearly departed dog of almost 1 year now) is always included in that discussion. The rest went like this:

S: Mommy, what does Heaven look like?
M: Well, no one on Earth really knows for sure. The Bible says that it’s perfect and beautiful. Beautiful like jewelry!
S: Mommy, will we sleep in Heaven?
M: I’m not sure. Right now, we sleep on Earth because our bodies need the rest. But in Heaven we’ll have perfect bodies. We may not need to sleep!
S: Mommy, who created pajamas that we sleep in?
M: I have no idea!
S: Mommy, lightning can kill you.
M: Yes, yes, it can.
S: There’s a lot of ways you can die. If someone shoots you, you can die.
M: Uh-hmmm.