Mary Bernard

This is why I have issues with “doing it all.”

Fitness company Power Plate has created a list of the Top 10 Power Moms of 2009. According to the article on Momlogic, these women were chosen because

in the last year they had babies, managed busy, successful careers and got back into incredible postnatal shape, extremely quickly.

Heidi Klum, Jennifer Garner, and Rebecca Romijn (who had twins!) all made the list.

I am offended—and jealous—at the same time.

Top 10 Power Moms of 2009
10. Kelly Rutherford
9. Kimora Lee Simmons
8. Adriana Lima
7. Molly Ringwald
6. Karolina Kurkova
5. Niki Taylor
4. Elisabeth Hasslebeck
3. Heidi Klum
2. Rebecca Romijn
1. Jennifer Garner

Your thoughts?

Typically, I don’t like to post whiney-tale ramblings.

But, hey, I’m in a funk and I have a blog.

And if I can’t whine on my blog, then why have a blog, right?

So, if this is a problem for you, then you can click off my post and come back tomorrow.

I hope you’ll stay, though, and help me. Help me, readers.

I’m really overwhelmed right now, and I’m not sure what to do about it.

I know that I have no margins in my life. I first heard about the concept of margin several years ago.

Think of the margins on a piece of paper. That’s the “extra” space that can be used if needed or in an emergency. A place for spill-over. White space that is pleasing to the eye and a soft place to land.

Nope. I have none of that in my life.

(I’m going to get this book, ASAP, by the way. I’ve heard other friends talk about it. It’s been on my to-read list, but I’ve procrastinated. But, I’m going to get it soon. Disclosure: I am an Amazon affiliate and receive a small commission for purchases referred to Amazon.)

My life runs from sun-up to sun-down with far more to do than there is time for.

FlyLady wants me to do my routines. Yea, I have no time for routines. Because as routine as routines go, they Still. Take. Time.

Exercising and grocery shopping and cleaning toilets all take time. Fifteen minutes here, an hour there, thirty minutes there. Time.

I need a lot of sleep. Like 8-9 hours to feel really good. But, hey, that takes time. I can either cut corners on my sleep and be grouchy and grumpy and less productive or I can feel guilty about going to bed when there is still so much left undone. (I know that’s crazy. But that’s me.)

All my little part-time jobs are wonderful blessings, and we truly need the money. We count on each little $100 or $200 check to make ends meet each month. So, which $200 check do I forfeit so that I don’t feel guilty when I go to sleep?  In the meantime, which meal/activity/chore is neglected so that I can finish a work assignment?

Blogging and writing are the only things I do for fun. Period. I don’t read. Magazines and books sit untouched on my nightstand. I haven’t scrapbooked since July 2007. That’s terribly sad, but seriously, how in the world can I justify sitting around sticking pictures into books when I have a to-do list as long as my arm? Plus, scrapbooking would require my downloading, sorting, and actually printing pictures. I don’t even want to think about how much time that would take.

Do I stop blogging? Do I stop writing for fun?

Do I shrivel up to nothing because I have no outlet for creativity?

I could go on and on. I know you know that I have laundry, meals, activities, Bible study, and church. I know you know what it’s like to juggle and prioritize.

Am I the most insanely organizationally-challenged person in the world? Or is this just “part of it” and I need to grin and bear it until retirement? 

What should I do? How do I take some of the pressure off? Which ball(s) to drop?

At what point do we simply step out in faith, do away with things that drain us, and trust God to provide compensation (whether emotional, financial, spiritual)?

Truly, I’d love to hear your feedback and any suggestions for me and my family.

Thank you. Whining over.

Image: Morgue File

(Explanation: My intent with this post is to be constructive and honest. I do not intend to be hurtful or snarky.)

As you all know, I was on a high anticipating my trip to Blissdom. I kinda hate it when I do that because I inevitably leave a smidge disappointed.

And that’s kind of what I’d say about this conference.

My Blissdom Report Card
Food: B-
Take-away learning: B-
Opportunities for relationship-building and making connections: A
Organization and logistics: A
Swag: A+
Overall grade: B

Blissdom kind of reminds me of a ginormous sorority meeting, which is good in many ways and kind of useless in others.

No doubt about it, this is a great place to meet all the ladies of the Blogosphere. Seeing these bloggers up close in person takes the shiny veneer away and gives you an invaluable dynamic of someone’s personality that you don’t have otherwise.

I had an opportunity to tell a fantastic blogger face to face how much her post made me laugh and cry. I was able to say “thank you” to another smart lady for some bloggy advice, and I got to ask another multitasking mom for more “mom advice” about managing schedules.

I loved that I learned a lot of great info about monetizing my blog and the vocabulary of ads. I needed that lesson. The Nashville blogger gals were able to socialize quite a bit, as well as trade helpful advice and information. I found my conversations with Bilingual in the Boonies (don’t you love that name???) refreshing and insightful. I loved that I have found new friends in my Faithful Blogger gals, Kelly and Courtney. It was great fun to meet them and talk about Faithful Bloggers face-to-face.

But when it came to technique and practical take-aways, I thought the conference came up short. Don’t get me wrong: I did bring home a few helpful lists and tips (those posts to come), but I spent way more time checking Twitter, Facebook, and email during the sessions than I would have thought I’d even want to.

I am a writer (not perfect by any means), so I don’t need the basics. I’m not sure what I do need; I was hoping the conference would tell me!

And if I had heard the word, community, one more time, I would have thrown up in my mouth a little.

Ironically, I just posted on the value of community at Faithful Bloggers last week. I think my issue with a blogging-conference definition of community is that—at least it seemed to me this weekend—creating a community around one’s blog was more about what it could do for the blogger than what the blogger could do for the community.

One of my personal goals of writing has always been to perform a “public service.” I really want my writing to resonate, inform, encourage, and/or otherwise be helpful. If just one reader comes away with something, then I feel I’ve done my job. That’s not a great big community there, but for me, it’s more about the quality than the quantity.

Sure, you must have quantity to get traffic to get exposure to get ads to get money and so on. But I’m of the belief that quantity follows quality. And if it doesn’t, then, well, I need to reexamine my purpose for writing in the first place.

I think the “women blogger group” (for lack of a better term and to be dangerously broad-sweeping) has a somewhat skewed definition of community. Certainly, aspects of community do exist and thrive among this network of blogs. But more often than not, I find these “communities” a bit superficial and fickle. (Or maybe I’m just a sucky “community member.” LOL)

Also—I hate to say it—but I sometimes question the sincerity of the overriding sentiment that blogging is “all about community.” I think their idea of community begins at a rather self-centered place.

Just who is your community? Me. Who is my community? You. That’s right. We’re all blogging and reading and blogging and reading. Sure we have readers outside the blogging community, but really, in the end aren’t we really just giving ourselves a big pep rally and a collective pat on the back?  Building community in the sense of a “blogger conference” definition seems just down right exhausting at best and self-aggrandizing at worst.

Recommendations for Change
I’m not sure WHAT I would change about Blissdom. I think I’d begin with redefining the word community (‘ya think?) and helping bloggers really drill down to their core motivations for writing.

Maybe I’d do away with the panels and bring in more stand-alone speakers. (I do realize this costs money, though.) I loved hearing from the PR and marketing professionals. Editors, attorneys, and web/tech gurus would all be interesting to me.

I think I’d like to participate more in vision-casting. I loved how Alli Worthington said that this is just the “pre-game” season; the season’s not yet begun. I’ve never been on the cusp of anything in my life! Let’s explore that more and how we all fit into that bigger picture. Let’s look at what it takes to really equip women to be influential and effective.

I don’t mean to detract at all from the hard work of the organizers and the obvious enthusiasm and positive energy generated by the conference.  Truly, these have their place and can be beneficial in accomplishing many goals.

I’m just not sure those were my goals, too.

Last week, we had several inches of snow. We were out of school and snow-bound for about five days and it felt more like fifteen. I’ve been playing catch up in hyper-speed since Tuesday.

I’m heading to Blissdom tomorrow, and I. Can’t. Wait. I’ll be updating and tweeting from there and expect to come home with heaps of inspiration, motivation, and new ideas. You’ve been warned: lots of excitement ahead.

I’ve written a three-part series (parts one, two, and three) at Faithful Bloggers this week. I’m really enjoying getting started with this new project.

Today, I had conferences with the boys’ preschool teachers.

Spencer’s teacher told me he has affection for a little girl in his class, whom I will call Ariel. Spencer and Ariel sit beside each other at lunch. The teacher said that one day as they were eating, Spencer leaned over to Ariel. He gently placed his hand on her forearm.

He said, “How are you today, my lovely princess?”

In other news, Seth confessed he kissed a little girl in his class during a game of Prince and Princess.

I love my little men.

It was a happy night–if not a tad confusing one–at the Bernard house Tuesday night. Our favorite show, Lost, returned for its final season. This video sums up our hope and plea to the show’s producers:

It’s the first, and I’m excited about all the things ahead for this month and this year!

I know you’ve noticed my new blog design. I’m enjoying it so much, and I think it really captures the feel of The Writer’s Block. Lindsey at Sour Apple Studio did the work and did a great job. Thanks, Lindsey!

You may notice that the cartoony woman really looks a lot like me. That is intentional, of course. We tried to make her hair color and eye color like mine to achieve this. And, of course, I’m that skinny and always look that nice in my tailored suit. I always have hair and makeup fixed with a smile on my face while I juggle all of those colliding responsibilities. Yep. That’s me, alright. 🙂

I am still tweaking a few things here and there, even though I had hoped to be all set for today’s “re-launch.” But, you know, I’m juggling all of those colliding responsibilities and so, I’ll get to it soon.

I’m also excited to tell you about a new online home for my writing: FaithfulBloggers.com. I have joined Kelly and Courtney as a contributing editor, and I am thrilled! I’ll be posting over there four or five times each week, as well creating podcast interviews of member bloggers. Faithful Bloggers is devoted to helping Christian bloggers glorify God with their blogs. So, we’ll be talking about blogging, writing, and online stuff and how it relates to your faith. Please come see me there.

If you are interested in being interviewed about your faith and your blog, contact me. We want Faithful Bloggers to be a dynamic community, representing the many faithful voices of Christian bloggers.

Remember, I’ll be posting and tweeting from Blissdom this weekend. I’m so excited I can barely stand it. Check back here to read what I’ve learned. 

I love the library system. The whole process of borrowing informative materials is wonderful.

Our local branch library, however, is the armpit of Bellevue as I have proclaimed here previously.

I don’t know why I was surprised today to be stalled by the Barney Fife of the Bellevue Library at my attempt to check out a book.

Chris had asked me to pick up a book that he had on hold. Numerous times, I have checked out his book on my card from the circulation clerk who looks a little bit like the stapler dude in Office Space. This has never been a problem.

But today, I was called on the carpet by Barney, who inquired, “Are you an approved user on his account?”

Oh, once again, a library policy—that I HAVE NO IDEA EXISTS—catches me off guard.

“Uh, I dunno.”

He checks. I’m not.

“I’m sorry. You’re not an approved user. I can’t check it out for you. You can speak with the manager.”

I was in a hurry so I just shoved the book back to him. “No. I can’t stay any longer. Can you just re-label it and put it back on the shelf and I’ll have my husband MAKE ANOTHER TRIP OVER HERE to get his book?”

I stomped out, fuming.

But then I considered this all-important policy and decided that surely it thwarts all kinds of mischief and destruction of library property.

I mean, who doesn’t realize that the best way to get back at someone is to peruse the hold shelf at the library, find that person’s book, check it out, and then NOT RETURN IT ON TIME? Ooooooooo. Now that’s some real treachery right there that needs to be nipped in the bud. I’m sure the rate of unauthorized check-outs and non-returns was epidemic to create a new policy.

Good gravy.

Save me from the Bellevue branch library. 

photo: morguefile

Squeezed into my errands and appointments today was Zoe’s annual physical exam. (Zoe is our 9 pound little Bijon/Shih Tzu canine family member.)

Yep. Zoe has already been a Bernard for a year! She’s such a precious girl and so sweet to the kids. She puts up with a lot.

So, after the exam today, the vet left the room to read some of the remaining tests and get some things together. I put Zoe’s leash on and just let her run around my feet and sniff the exam room. I used the opportunity for quiet to lean back in the chair and close my eyes and rest.

(It reminded me of all those pregnancy appointments when I’d wait on the doctor and end up stretching out on the exam table, curled in the fetal position beneath the glaring flourescents. Hey, you take rest where you can get it when you’re a busy mom of three and almost 40.)

Anyway.

I’m sitting there listening to vet office noises outside the closed doors and mentally ticking off my to-do list when–bleh!–I notice a strong odor. Yuck, I think. There must be a stinky dog outside the door.

A few seconds pass. Another whiff.
 
Oh, really, that’s so gross. That’s really yuck. Someone needs to go clean that up. 

Close the eyes.

Nasal assault.

About that time, the doctor comes back in. He immediately smiles and says, “Well, Zoe, looks like you had a little accident.”

It was only then that I turn my head ever so slightly to glance beside my foot to see two huge you-know-whats on the floor.

I was completely oblivious that it was my dog who was the perpetrator.

You think I’m a smidge too distracted these days?

As you can see, The Writer’s Block is under construction. With my Christmas money, I bought a new blog design! Some girls dream of shoes and bags or makeup and jewelry. Not me. I fantasize about my blog.

So, anyway, I think it’s still in progress and needs some tweaking here and there. I’ll let you know when it’s all finished and everything is in its right spot.

This week has been heart-wrenching as I’ve continued to keep online vigil for my friend, David Hames. As of tonight, he remains missing in Haiti. Hope remains alive, however, since a man was found alive today–14 days after the earthquake. I am praying constantly for his rescue. I think it would be an incredible testimony to God’s gracious glory if this man is found alive. I pray so, anyway.

The word, between, is only used when talking about two entities. The word, among, is used when talking about more than two entities. So, please note:

I must choose between the two books. (Correct)
She shares her books between the four family members. (Incorrect)
She shares her books among the four family members. (Correct)

You’re welcome.

I’m convinced my laundry is procreating behind my back. Mama Sock and Daddy Sock are having Baby Socks, while Mama Sweater and Daddy Sweater are spawning Baby Shirts, Baby Pajamas, and Baby Undies.

I’m preparing for their revolution any day now. If laundry can figure out how to procreate, they can certainly organize themselves into a mutiny.

image: morguefile

I continue to check for news about my friend, David Hames, who remains buried beneath the crumpled Hotel Montana in Haiti.

This week has affected me in ways I never expected.

I wasn’t best friends with David in college and had lost touch with him until last year. Yet I am consumed with his experience and burdened for his safety. I am pretty much obsessed with his plight.

You know what I think it is? It’s God.

I’m sure others have been in similar situations (maybe during 9/11 or another large-scale tragedy), but this is a first for me. This is the first time a major news event has had microscopic proportions—the first time a news event has become personal.

And so, in the middle of this tragedy, God’s people are rallying. God’s people are crying out. God’s people are encouraging one another.

And it’s amazing.

I am exhilarated by the unity of our voices in begging for our friend. I am encouraged by the solidarity of our purpose in rescuing David. I am touched that David—a long-lost friend who, for all intents and purposes, is now a stranger to me—has such a community of God-honoring Christ-lovers interceding on his behalf.

The family of God is anonymous and instantly recognizable all at the same time. How wonderful Heaven will be: a great family reunion of strangers, yet kinfolk!

What I’m trying to say is that my faith has been strengthened in this ordeal. My belief, my hope, my courage in the Lord have been confirmed time and again by these living, breathing, “great clouds of witnesses” on earth right now.

Friends, we are waiting. But we serve a God who waits for nothing.

I’ve been thinking of those times of waiting where: 1. God delivered; and 2. God’s ultimate good purpose was fulfilled. A few examples:

• Noah and his family waiting out the storm for 40 days (it was another two weeks until they actually left the Ark)
• The Israelites’ wandering in the wilderness for 40 years
• Jonah in the belly of the fish for 3 days
• And of course, after Jesus’ crucifixion, his followers waiting for his resurrection

Lord God, 
We pray David’s (and all those trapped in earthquake rubble) waiting will soon come to an end. We pray his wait from your hand of providence will show all your glorious good purposes.
In Christ’s name we pray, Amen.