Mary Bernard

As God does so ever often in my life, he’s bringing me to the end of myself. He continues to move me from self-centered independence to a more Christ-centered dependence.

I’m so tired of being overfed, overstimulated, overzealous, overanxious, and overwhelmed.

The excess in my life is suffocating me.

I had been mulling over this principle for a few weeks, when I read a phrase yesterday that helped me better articulate my thoughts: the impact of excess.

That got me to consider what the impact of excess has been on my life.

Our culture is a sea of excess. I don’t have to tell you that, do I? The mentality is that if “a little” is good, then “a lot” must be great!

But, I’ve learned over and again in my life, that’s just not true.

My excess most often revolves around busyness and projects and participation. Because I struggle every day with “the good being the enemy of the best,” discernment is non-existent. God’s voice is always shushed—if not silenced altogether—by the cacophony of competing demands and deadlines. And because “the best” (in God’s economy) is counter-cultural and counter-intuitive, it either slips away quietly or zooms quickly past with little more than a flicker of recognition from me.

I’m too busy with focus on “the good”; I’m too distracted or too exhausted to have moments of clarity to be still and know that he is God.

I’m way too concerned with my pursuit of more and my piling of excess upon excess to ever decipher any message God delivers in moments of simplicity.

Because I can see the good in “the good,” I often cloud my radar with “good things.” Those “good things” turn into excess. For me, excess breeds fatigue, idolatry, and an insatiable appetite for more. Ironic, isn’t it? One would think that once I got my belly full, I’d be content, happy, and satisfied. But, no. It’s that lie that, Oh, just a bit more and I’ll finally be happy/fulfilled/content/smart/cool/comfortable, and so on.

I’m working through these issues right now and will continue to share my thoughts here. Right now, I’m seeking a God-centered and God-focused intentional simplicity.

I may not be blogging as much here or I may be here more. Really—honestly—I love blogging and being involved in the online community, but I am a bit uncertain as to what level I should be participating. As I said before, I’ll always write. But I may be writing in other venues.

So, I appreciate your reading and your feedback always. I covet your prayers, as well, as I and my family seek wisdom and discernment. 

What’s been the impact of excess in your life?

Image: Morgue File

You may recall that my new year’s resolution was to live intentionally.

So, what does that look like in my life?, I wondered.

Well, I know what it doesn’t look like.

It doesn’t look like worn-out, frazzled mom. It doesn’t look like worried mom juggling deadlines. It doesn’t look like fast food for every meal. It doesn’t look like the illusion of making money and “getting ahead” when, in actuality, the bank account is strained and debt continues to accrue. It doesn’t look like laundry and dish piles.

At least not for me. Not for us. Not for our family.

And so, I posted a plea for advice to you, my dear readers. You had great words of wisdom and encouragement. I felt good, at least, to know that I wasn’t completely crazy and alone, drowning in a sea of demands and deadlines.

Chris and I prayed, mulling over your words and ideas and re-evaluating our “intention” of intentional living in 2010 and decided that we were not, indeed, living with intention. We were being run by our circumstances. We were reacting, not proacting. We were slaves to the tyranny of the urgent demands of everyone and everything else besides those that were most important to us.

On March 15, I worked my last day at the most time-consuming of my four part-time jobs. I have all but closed shop on my Melaleuca “business” (although I am always happy to answer your questions and/or open a membership account for you—just ask). Our church is shutting its doors (another long story of emotional drain for our family—post forthcoming) at the end of the month, so I will no longer be employed there.

That leaves my writing.

I will always write. Writing for me is intuitive and effortless and cathartic. One of the negatives of these last few months is that I have not had the time I would have liked to devote to my writing.

Now I can devote my “free time” to my writing. Truly, I believe this is my gift from God. I feel that I’ve pushed all the other boundaries of my interests and skills. God has revealed to me that while I may be “OK” at many things, there are only a handful that are true gifts.

Writing. Writing here and at Faithful Bloggers and at Suite 101 is where you’ll find me now. I’ll be using my God-given skills for his glory.

If he chooses to bless us with money for that, then I rejoice. If he does not, then I rejoice!

I’ve decided that I will be intentional about living as he’s guiding me. The fact is that he’s placed certain circumstances in my life, which dictate his will for me.

He has called me to be Chris’ wife and all that that entails. He has called me to be mom to my three kids and all that that entails. He has called me to manage this home with the income that he has provided and all that that entails.  And he has called me to write. He has called me to write—since I could string together subjects and verbs in the first grade—for his glory and others’ edification.

OK, God. Show me my next steps. God, you promise that when you require something of your children, you equip them with the grace to accomplish it. I believe it, Lord.

I am intentionally and deliberately believing it.

Image: cohdra at morguefile.com

My all-time favorite television show series is The X-Files. What can I say? I’m a sucker for conspiracy theories.

That’s why my ears perked up when I heard the title of Jesse Ventura’s new book, American Conspiracies. Ventura’s interview on The View today was absolutely fascinating. I’m not necessarily convinced his allegations are true, but I am getting my hands on a copy of his book as soon as possible. I can’t wait to read it! (Disclosure: I am an Amazon affiliate and receive a small commission from sales referred by me.)

Watch here as Ventura (who looks positively horrible, by the way—dude! do something with your hair!) discusses his theory of the Bush administration’s direct involvement with the events of 9/11.

If you have missed episodes of The View, don’t forget you can catch up online.

Still to come on the show this week:

Thursday—Elton John makes his first appearance on The View.
Friday—Kate Gosselin guest hosts once again.

Disclosure: I am a participant in a Mom Central campaign for ABC Daytime and will receive a tote bag or other The View branded items to facilitate my review. I am an Amazon affiliate and receive a small commission from sales referred by me.

Motherhood has been and continues to be the most exhausting, challenging, stimulating, surprising, and soul-searching endeavor upon which I’ve ever embarked. No book, class, seminar, or magazine article could have prepared me for the astonishing changes motherhood brought to my life.

As I was getting dressed this morning, I thought, Who am I? Hmmm. Where is that girl I knew ten years ago? 

She’s morphed into this mom who is surprised to discover she’s always doing or saying something she never dreamed of.

1. I never thought I’d be anything but a perfect, pearl-clad mom, looking crisp in penny loafers and a button-down Oxford blouse.
2. I never thought I’d say such things as, “You can’t go potty with a pancake in your hand” and “No. You can’t take your guns to church.”
3. I never thought I’d give the pits a sniff, declare, “good enough!”, slather on the second third coat of deodorant, get dressed, and go out in public.
4. I never thought I’d not leave the house for 13 consecutive days. And by “leave the house,” I mean, Not. Leave. The. House. Not to the porch, to the mailbox, to the garbage can. 13. Days. Inside. My. House. With acid refluxy twins. 
5. I never thought I’d have guests in my home when I hadn’t mopped the floors or dusted the furniture in a few months days.
6. I never thought I’d look forward to “introspective alone time” at the grocery store.
7. I never thought I’d be 40 pounds overweight–at five years post-partum.
8. I never thought I could have breastfed twins for nine months.
9. I never thought my idea of a fun evening would involve Seinfeld reruns, a bowl of popcorn, and a 10 p.m. bedtime. 
10. I never thought I’d be anything but a perfect, pearl-clad mom, looking crisp in penny loafers and a button-down Oxford blouse.

How has motherhood surprised you? 

I’m linking this post today at Oh Amanda’s Top Ten Tuesday. Visit there to read more top ten lists!

photo: esrasu

I’ve never been into the basketball playoffs that make up “March Madness.”

But movies? Now, I can get into movies.

I’m celebrating my own version of March Madness at The Writer’s Block with some terrific movie giveaways this month.

First up: Whip It.

 

If you like “coming of age” films (think Sixteen Candles), you’ll enjoy Bliss’s story. If you like movies about the small town guy or girl looking to make a break for the big city (think It’s a Wonderful Life), you’ll have fun watching Bliss become the star of roller derby in the big city of Austin, Texas. 

Whip It is now available on DVD and Blu-Ray from Twentieth Century Fox Home Entertainment. 

I have written before about the incompetent bagging abilities of the Kroger baggers. I still battle weekly with multiple gallons of milk in one bag, while chips and salad land in another. I’ve tried talking to the baggers. That usually results in two cans and a bag of chips in one bag. I give up.

My Kroger experience last week, however, was rather unbelievable.

I stopped at the other Kroger a few miles from the one where I regularly shop. I wanted to grab a salad from their salad bar. I made my salad and packaged the dressing in a separate container (small Styrofoam cup with a plastic lid). I grabbed a handful of napkins, plastic fork, plastic knife, and two small packages of crackers.

I had to grab a couple of other items from the store. I then proceeded to the U-scan checkout lane.

I noticed the Dwight Shrute of Kroger watching the U-Scan aisles like a hawk. I zapped all my items except for the small tub of salad dressing, cutlery, napkins, and crackers. For a moment, I thought, Am I supposed to ring up the dressing? Nah, I decided.

My order came to around $10. I paid and picked up all my bags. I looped them on my arm and stuck my check card back in my purse. I turned to pick all the “extras” out of the arm basket sitting beside the scanner, when Dwight walked over.

Before I could pick up my items and stick them in the bag, he began to interrogate me about my attempt at theft.

“Ma’am? What’s this?” He picks up the small container of salad dressing.

“Salad dressing.”

“Well, you need to pay for that. That is considered a salad bar item.”

“Oh, really?! I had no idea.” I answered, kind of incredulously. “What about the crackers?”

And then, as if to throw me a bone, “No. The crackers and forks and napkins come with it.” (Oh, gee, glad you can part with the napkins, there, Kroger.)

“OK.”

I then re-shuffled heavy bags and my purse and dug back out my Kroger card.

Remember. I’ve already spent $10.00.

(Salad bar items are priced per pound. So the scanner weighs your item and charges accordingly.)

I picked up the container (so very light that it was), and Dwight said, “I don’t know. It may not even register.”

Well, genius, if it won’t register, then why even bother, I said thought.

I plopped it up there and punched in the buttons.

Thirty-two cents.

I was about to rob Kroger of thirty-two freaking cents.

And he stood there while I dug out a quarter, nickel, and two pennies from the annals of the abyss that is my purse. And I enjoyed every minute of my digging and searching and sighing as I scavenged for each coin while hanging onto three bags of groceries and a 12-pack of Diet Mountain Dew.

Because—God forbid—I get away with $.32 salad dressing.

Image: morguefile

I’m still here.
I’m just busy.

And going through many transitions. Chief among them is a huge change for our church of ten years. We are tiny, and our church officers have decided to merge with another church in our Presbytery. Our family is having a hard time with this change.

Hard. Time.

As soon as I’ve processed this a little bit more, I’ll be posting here about it.

~~~

I have about three other posts in draft form that I need to finish up for you. I also have some great films on DVD for review and giveaways. Look for those next week.

~~~

And I hope you’re reading my posts over at Faithful Bloggers. I am enjoying writing in a focused manner on a specific topic. This week, we’re discussing discovering your blog’s purpose. If you are a Christian and you have a blog (or would like to start a blog), check out Faithful Bloggers. Subscribe to the feed and the newsletter.

Image: morguefile (This photo has nothing to do with this post. I just liked it because it makes me happy.)

So what are you waiting for? Enter the sweepstakes to win a trip to NY City for a taping of The View! The contest ends on February 28.

This week’s episodes of The View have been really great. Even if you can’t watch during weekday mornings, you can watch full episodes at the website. Guests this week that I’m excited about:

• Monday—Senator Evan Bayth of Indiana
• Wednesday—“Octomom,” Nadya Suleman
• Thursday—Bill and Guiliana Rancic talking about their struggle with infertility during an entire show focused on the theme, “trying to have a baby?”

I need to do a little viewing catch-up myself. When I have, I’ll be posting my thoughts here.

I’m really excited about a new opportunity this month. I’ve been chosen to participate in a special promotion for ABC-TV’s The View.

As a brand ambassador for the show, I’ll be watching and talking about The View here each week. I encourage you to do the same.

I have been a viewer of The View since day one. I have always enjoyed the show, particularly the Hot Topics section. I don’t always agree with the opinions presented in the discussions, but I’m always challenged to think.

And that, to me, is the appeal of The View.

As a former journalist who is also a mom pressed for time but engaged in part-time ministry, I depend on The View to show me a cross-section of our culture. I think The View‘s roundtable discussions and interviews play an important role in telling me what today’s women are thinking, feeling, and talking about.

I hope you’ll join me during the next few weeks and tune into The View. Let’s talk here about what we watch there.

Follow The View Brand Ambassadors on Twitter using the #theviewmoms hashtag. 

And how cool is this???

Enter to win a trip to New York City to watch a taping of The View. The sweepstakes is open until February 28. Click here to enter the sweepstakes. I would L.O.V.E. to win a trip to New York.

My favorite time of year is almost here.

Spring.

Longer days, warmer breezes, television show season finales (this is a semi-serious post, but I had to throw that one in there).

Most importantly, we observe and celebrate the death and resurrection of Christ.

I don’t know if it’s even possible to label one event as the crux of Christianity, but I sort of lean towards Christ’s resurrection as being it. At any rate, Easter is my favorite holiday on the Church calendar.

In the resurrection of Christ, we have hope and eternal security that death has no hold on us!

Easter is my favorite because I love all things associated with it. I love the focus on new life, being raised with Christ, and the resurrection that is to come. I love that Christ defeated all aspects of death and I get to partake in that victory because of my union with him.

As I suggested at Advent, these special days on the Christian calendar are an excellent time to begin or return to regular Family Worship times. If you’d like to do this in your family but don’t know where to start, read on for some ideas about Easter.

This Lenten season, our family will once again pull out our set of Resurrection Eggs. We love our Resurrection Eggs! I’ve had our set for years and pull them out annually. These are invaluable tools to teach your kids the Easter narrative, its significance, and how the symbols of Easter relate to Christ’s most important work.

Lent Begins With Ash Wednesday
Ash Wednesday is today, February 17. Lent lasts for 6 weeks until Easter. You can use the Resurrection Eggs in any number of ways during Family Worship. Here’s what we usually do.

Candles
We have three kids, and all must participate. We continue lighting three candles for family worship time (a holdover from Advent) because our kids like it. They ask to do, “Candles,” which is what we call our family worship time. Three is, obviously, a significant number in theology so there’s always an important metaphor to use with three candles. Of course, candleLIGHT can always be used for applicable illustration. Thus, we continue with candles.

Resurrection Eggs
We then will give each child an egg and instruct them not to open. We go in order and have them open the eggs one at a time. With each token, we talk about its significance and how it fits into the Easter narrative. The kids absolutely LOVE the surprise element of the closed egg. We repeat this several nights in week 1.

You can vary your treatment here: for example, the first night, you use the objects to tell the story; the second night, you read the applicable story from The Jesus Storybook Bible (awesome!) and use the objects to illustrate; the third night, you have the children tell the story using the objects; the fourth night, you review and ask the kids to make predictions as to what will happen next.

If you are using 3 eggs each week, you will only use the kit for 4 weeks. You may want to use other things during family worship on the nights you don’t use the kit or, if you’re like us, your busy schedule means that shooting for 4 nights out of seven is more realistic.

I do recommend, however, that you stretch it over the Lenten season and build the anticipation to Palm Sunday, Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, and Easter Sunday. In years past, we have opened the eggs the week before Easter and gone through the kit rather hurriedly, but I don’t think it had as much impact or was as much fun as the years we’ve really taken our time.

The Lenten season is prime for teaching your children and training them in the faith. I’ll have some more ideas and suggested resources during the next few weeks. Stay tuned.

photo: morguefile  
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