Mary Bernard

A fellow Nashville mom blogger, BlondeMom Blog, is giving away FOUR TICKETS to this weekend’s Wiggles concert. Wanna win? Enter here.

Money—well, the lack of it, actually—is a constant topic of conversation at our house.

I read this post and decided to join this blog tour at The Parent Bloggers Network, which got me to thinking about our own kids and their materialistic notions.

Sadly, they are more materialistic than I would like. We talk about our desire for instilling in our kids frugality, simplicity, and gratitude.

But… I’m not so sure how well we’re succeeding in that department.

Out of curiosity, I wandered into my daughter’s room tonight and counted her Barbie dolls.

She has 25.

25.

When I was a little girl, I had one: Malibu Barbie.

As we shopped for back-to-school supplies and clothes this year, I was overwhelmed. I had to repeatedly say, “No. We came for glue. Only glue.” Or, “You need one white shirt. One. White. Shirt.”

So, as our routines get more established with the new school year, Chris and I are hoping, praying to implement a new system for teaching our kids how money and work are connected.

Here’s my idea:

Each child has a poster board with five of those index card pockets glued to the top and five glued to the bottom. The first two pockets are Monday (morning and evening); the next are Tuesday, and so on. Morning cards have morning chores; evening cards have after-school/evening chores. These are extremely basic and age-appropriate but things that help the house run smoothly, teach responsibility and teamwork. Saturday’s chores involve a little bit more, and Sunday’s cards both say, DAY OF REST.

When the chore is finished, the child turns the card to the end with the smiley face. On Saturdays, if the child has all smiley faces, he or she gets a fuzzy ball in their jar (more about that below). Each smiley face is worth a nickel, and the child is paid accordingly.

From this point, we will instruct the children on what it means to save, spend, and give their money. We will have the kids put about 10% of their earnings in the church collection plate and encourage them to consider other ways to give their money.

I think it’s never too early to have the kids begin saving for their first car. My boys will absolutely start putting some money back for a “ring fund.” I heard this idea from a friend this summer, and I was so impressed. More than anything, I want my boys to grow into responsible men. Don’t these lessons begin here and now?

The kids, too, each have a “fuzzy ball” jar (as I mentioned above). These are just small, clear glass jars with no lids. I get the “fuzzy balls” at the dollar store or craft store. They are the little multi-colored pom-pom balls for crafts. I figured they were safe and couldn’t break the glass or go rolling all over the floor if spilled. Plus, the colors make a great visual in the clear jars.

So, for each “perfect” week, the kids get to put a fuzzy ball in their jar. The fuzzy ball jar, also, can be used as a reward jar (“you played so nicely today with your brother”) or a punishment jar (“you’re losing three fuzzy balls tonight because you had a horrible attitude at the park”).

When the fuzzy ball jar is full, the child gets a $10 gift of their choice from the store of their choice.

So, I’m hoping and praying to accomplish many things with our new system:

• Responsibility, sense of ownership
• Stewardship, gratitude
• Charity, other-centeredness
• Frugality, self-denial
• Accountability, teamwork
• Long-term viewpoint, commitment
• Discipline and work ethic
• Ultimately, a desire to work and behave simply for the benefit of pleasing parents and God (OK? a smidge too Pollyanna?)

and, oh…

• whittling down the Barbies to a number that’s not quite so indulgent.

I’ll keep you posted with our progress.

I have written this post as a part of a Parent Bloggers Network Blog Blast. The Parent Bloggers Network and Capital One are working together to help educate kids on money management and budgeting as the new school year gets underway.

I’m running so far behind with—well, with just about everything, really.

• I bought Twilight to read. I know, I know, I’m like 2 years behind the excitement. But I usually have such a time getting through fiction. Typically, I find it boring and predictable. I have high expectations for the Twilight series, though. I haven’t started it because I’ve set it up as a reward. I get to read it when I finish my latest writing assignment, which brings me to …

• I have a Bible study unit for Cokesbury’s Bible Lessons for Youth due… um, yesterday. Yes, I’m behind. Yes, I cursed writers who were late when I was an editor. Yes, I will get it finished this weekend. If I have to stay up all night Sunday, it will be finished by Monday.

• And then I get to start Twilight.

• In my Back-to-School giveaway, the winner is… my fellow POTATO friend, Chonta. You won’t see her comment on the post because it magically disappeared, but she posted nonetheless. Chonta wins some fabulous Melaleuca kids’ products. (Disclosure: I am a Melaleuca marketing executive and customer. I am compensated by the company when I sign new members to the company. I purchased these products on my own, however, and sponsored the giveaway myself. I received no additional benefit from the company, nor was my giveaway affiliated with the company in any way.)

• I will post about the first day of school. Hey. I still have Christmas photos on my camera that need downloading. Like I said, I’m just running a wee bit behind. I will get to the first day of school. Stay tuned.

So, I’m getting all creative lately as I become more and more obsessed with my blog. I’m still trying to decide how it should fit into my life because, well, you know, I have a home and a husband and 3 kids and a dog and 4 part-time jobs. But my hope is that I can figure out how to blend it in so that it serves me (emotionally, professionally, creatively), rather than the other way around. Oh, that’s the story of my life …

Three great posts on blog writing, by the way:
1. Blog Content Before Traffic by Michael Hyatt
2. Blog Content, Respect, and Responsibility by Gina Haskett
3. The Seven Deadly Sins of Blogging by Sonia Simone

Anyway, I bought the domain name, www.writingmomof3.com that now points to my blog. Yay! I’m also playing with some design ideas because it’s fun. As I switched over my domain name, I lost some links and comment posts and I have no idea why. But if you previously entered my contest, you are still entered. Your name is just not showing up.

It is not too late to enter the contest for the Melaleuca giveaway.

I found an old friend’s blog today and this post caught my attention. She’s defending Miley Cyrus’ recent “pole dance” on Nick’s Teen Choice Awards. Please read her post for yourself, but to sum it up, she thinks it was really no big deal and that Miley (as most child pop stars before her) must reinvent herself, embracing and expressing her sexuality, if she has any hope of staying power as a serious adult actress.

Ummm. What? Excuse me?

I don’t think so.

My thoughts follow, primarily as a response to Stephanie’s post but generally in regard to the expression of female sexuality in our culture.

We are HUGE Miley fans at our house. Every pencil, notebook, tee shirt, water bottle has Miley’s (Hannah’s) face on it. We have at least three Miley/Hannah dolls and all the accessories.

We have always loved Miley and Hannah and the show and her music. We have always felt she was a positive role model for our daughter. Should our daughter aspire to Miley’s goals, we would be proud (Britney? not so much. BRATZ dolls? Hate them. H-a-t-e them!).

And we STILL love Miley and her show and will STILL allow her into our home. And, actually, this “pole dance” is rather brief, HOWEVER…

I have a few problems with my friend’s sentiment in general: that of the “sexualization of Miley” and her defense of it.

My points:

1. Miley Cyrus is still a minor. She is 16 years old. If any other 16-year-old were involved in sexual acts (and I KNOW she wasn’t having sex on stage, but stay with my train of thought here…), it would be illegal. So, it’s illegal for a man to have sex with a 16-year-old, yet she is paraded around … for what? What are pole dancing, short shorts, wiggling hips for? To turn on men and appeal to their sexual nature. THIS is the very lesson we are trying to teach our 6-year-old regarding modesty. Modesty in dress and action, so, that–very basically–our daughter is not causing boys/men to lust after her. Even though we don’t use those words, that is the goal behind our parenting.

Now, I suppose if one is primarily concerned with maximizing her sex appeal all the time and at all costs and teaching the next generation of women to do the same, then I guess this point is moot.

Those are not my goals as a mother, though. I have HUGE issues with the over-sexualization of both men and women in our culture. In my opinion, it is the basis of all sorts of crimes and issues, including sex trafficking, rape/incest, high teen pregnancy/abortion rates, porn industry destroying marriages, domestic violence, eating disorders, and on and on.

This point would also touch on my feelings about the magazine picture she did last year, too:

2. No. Young girls don’t know what a pole dance is. No. They aren’t going (probably) to run out and aspire to become a stripper. They are, however, going to mimic the sexuality of Miley. My little girl is very sensitive to what she perceives as being beautiful, feminine, and attractive. She picks up on what the “style” is. If Miley wears it/does it, then it IS the thing to wear/do, in her opinion.

We all know that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. It applies here, too.

And, yes, I know I am the parent. And, yes, I parent aggressively with goals for my daughter regarding her sexuality and future. I don’t abdicate that responsibility to anyone else, nor do I believe that Miley or any other celebrity could undo hours and hours of investing in my child.

That doesn’t change the fact that my kid has to live in this world. She will be affected by her environment. Adults are. Ever heard of advertising? The ONLY way to keep the influence of anything or any person away from my daughter is to throw the TV out the window, turn off the radio, and lock her up forever. I prefer to walk WITH her, teaching her as I go (read more below), which brings me to point #3…

3. At the end of the day, I think what Miley is allowed to do/become, is her and her parents’ business. BUT if she/her family/her company is going to step on my back going there, then she better DAMN well care how I feel about it. I hope she understands that if she continues down the sexuality road to preserve her visibility and her career (as Stephanie maintains she needs to do in order to stay viable as an actress), we will be turning off her show and throwing out our pencil cases. My money will not support her participation in the objectification of women, showcasing her sexuality so that my daughter can believe it is an appropriate model of behavior, and teaching my little boys that this is the kind of woman who is considered valuable.

It’s the age-old issue of athletes’ and pop stars’ responsibility as role-models vs. their individual expression/sexuality/”being themselves,” engaging in criminal behavior (Michael Vick?), etc. Hey. I don’t really care what you do. BUT if you have MADE YOUR LIVING getting where you are because of ME and MY KIDS, then I all of a sudden absolutely do care. I have a stake in this. And I think I deserve a voice.

4. And, yes, that dance was TOTALLY a nod at stripper/pole dancing. It was brief, yes, but undeniably exotic, in my opinion. And to make it even worse, the dance was at the Teen Choice Awards (hello? can you say audience members who are children!) and she was dancing on an ice cream cart. The vehicle itself is an icon of childhood, innocence, and frivolity. Was it there to distract from the real intent? Was it to “sanitize” it? By marrying the two—exotic sensuality and the innocence of childhood—the overall effect is a watered-down outcry of “what’s the big deal?” Mmmm. Mission accomplished?

I have no gullible or fearful notions about the culture in which my kids are growing up. I fully embrace the challenge to help them navigate their culture and all it throws at them. As a committed Christian mom, I think it’s better to give our kids the skills and tools (faith, biblical discernment) to deconstruct their culture and evaluate it based on God’s standard. So, for me, this isn’t about sheltering or poo-pooing Miley Cyrus or rock music or whatever: you-fill-in-the-blank.

In that regard, we examine and evaluate our culture with our kids (age-appropriate examples, of course), praying always to esteem sexuality expressed within the bonds of covenant marriage as God designed. Therefore, we will hold some up for positive example.

Unfortunately, others will fall into the opposite category.

I was just hoping Miley wouldn’t be one of those.

It’s back-to-school time. What better way to get your little ones ready than with these fabulous products from Melaleuca??? The children’s vitamins will keep their minds sharp and energy high. The bubble bath is sweet-smelling without the use of harsh chemicals.

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If you want to convert your home from toxic chemical cleaners and toiletries and you’re ready to “go green,” contact me at my blog, The Writer’s Block or by email at maryb1517 [at] gmail [dot] com. Melaleuca products are an affordable, effective, and safe alternative to supermarket brands.

OK. Here’s how to win the Koala Pals School Days Set:

1. Leave me a comment below. (If you are reading this on Facebook, click on over to my blog to leave a comment.) Nothing specific at all; it can just be “hi.”

2. Tell your friends and blog readers to enter, too.

That’s it! I just want to see who’s out there, I’d love to meet some new readers, AND I’m always excited about getting Melaleuca products into the hands of moms.

Contest ends Monday, August 17 at midnight. Drawing to be held Tuesday, August 18. I’ll announce the winners here on Wednesday, August 19.

Comment.
Tell your friends.
You’ve got ONE WEEK.

Every six months, I endure a period of insanity that lasts about fifteen hours. Then I come home, barely able to move my arms, legs, back, and feet for three days.

It’s the bi-annual POTATO (Parents of Twins and Triplets Organization) consignment sale.

I have come to LOVE the sale. It’s kind of like a yard sale on steroids, BUT (when it’s working) it’s air conditioned.

I get to catch up with old friends and meet new friends. The socializing is so much fun. The amazing deals I score are incredible. Sometimes I make a little money. And I totally get to clean out my attic and garage.

OK. But the best part? People watching. Chit-chat in the checkout line. Gossipping–ahem, catching up–on celebrity news and the latest headlines. Finding out little known secrets about my friends.

In no particular order, I give you my favorite highlights from this weekend’s POTATO sale:

1. Michael Jackson tribute tee shirts. On three women. Who were shopping together.
2. A “Pat” person. I really, honestly, didn’t know if this individual was male or female.
3. Lots of precious, cute babies and toddlers.
4. One hellion crazy kid who lacked supervision, almost took out clothing racks with a triplet stroller, and randomly wielded scissors behind my back.
5. A $500 purchase. At a consignment sale!
6. One amazing story from a friend who should be on TLC’s “I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant.”
7. Trash-talking Jon Gosselin and the Octomom.
8. A little theology discussion about God’s sovereignty, predestination, and election.
9. Lots of nutritional advice from a registered dietitian.
10. My cribs are gone. Both of them. Happy? Sad? I can’t decide.
11. Found out the hard way that my almost-new athletic shoes are too small. Way too small. Ouch.
12. Finding those random connections to people through friends-of-friends, college sorority days, places of employment, church membership, and so on. I said and heard, “You know so-and-so? How do you know so-and-so? SUCH A SMALL WORLD.”

That’s this sale in a nutshell, from my perspective.

Funny how after every sale, I swear that I will pull out outgrown clothing as I wash it, hang and tag it, so it’s ready to go for the next sale.

Yeah, right.

Until Spring 2010 and the tagging madness rolls around again …

This, my friends, is Charles Spurgeon at his best. I LOVE THIS MAN’S WRITING! Can I shout it from the rooftops???

What a beautiful picture of the importance of raising our kids to love God and love others. Christian parents, be encouraged today.

Some of the Advantages of Early Piety
by Charles Spurgeon

I will just mention some of the advantages of early piety.

To be a believer in God early in life—is to be saved from a thousand regrets! Such a man shall never have to say that he carries in his bones—the sins of his youth. The Christian young man will not fall into the common sins of other young men, and injure his bodily health by excesses.

He will likely marry a Christian woman—and so have a holy companion in his journey towards Heaven.

Early piety helps us to form friendships for the rest of life which will prove helpful—and saves us from those which are harmful. He will select as his associates, the godly from the church—and not the rogues from the tavern. They will be his helpers in virtue—and not his tempters to vice. Depend upon it—a great deal depends upon whom we choose for our companions early in life. If we start in bad company—it is very hard to break away from it.

The man brought to Christ early in life has this further advantage—that he is helped to form holy habits—and is saved from being the slave of sinful ones. Habits soon become second nature; to form new ones is hard work; but those formed in youth—usually remain to old age.

Moreover, I notice that very frequently, those who are brought to Christ while young, grow in grace more rapidly and readily than others do. They have not so much to unlearn—and they have not such a heavy weight of old sinful memories to carry. The scars and bleeding sores which come from having spent years in the service of the devil—are missed by those whom the Lord brings into His church early, before they have wandered far into the sinful pleasures of this evil world.

I cannot commend early piety too highly. How attractive it is! Grace looks loveliest in youth! That which would not be noticed in the grown-up man—strikes at once the most careless observer, when seen in a child. Grace in a child has a convincing force—the infidel drops his weapon and admires. A word spoken by a child abides in the memory, and its artless accents touch the heart. Where the minister’s sermon fails—the child’s prayer may gain the victory!

(Grace Gems has posted Spurgeon’s superb sermon, “Early Piety–Eminent Piety.” Must reading for parents and those who teach children! Visit the Grace Gems site and sign up for the daily email devotions.)

If you are reading this and have no clue as to why I would recommend you follow Christ and teach your kids to do the same OR you are even a little bit offended at this post, would you email me or leave a comment? I would love to tell you more about the hope that I have because I choose to follow God in this way. I enjoy dialogue and debate about my faith.

Contact me: maryb1517 [AT] gmail [DOT] com or leave a comment, please.

Doesn’t this look good? I can’t wait to try it.

honey bourbon caramel peach pie – Sassy Radish

Shared via AddThis

(Editorial note: I have used symbols to either break up words [as in the title] or to omit vowels in certain terms. I do this not because I feel uncomfortable “writing” these words [which would fly in the face of the entire point of my post]. I do this because I’m still a blogging neophyte and am not exactly sure how search engines scan sites for ad posting and other such Internet-ish things. I hope to avoid offensive ads for offensive sites and products since this post deals with a topic that is typically corrupted, especially on the Web.)

I find one of the most interesting aspects of parenting to be the chit-chat that happens “on the side.” It’s that conversation you have with fellow parents while waiting on the kids at birthday parties or waiting for school to dismiss.

Recently, I was talking with two moms while Susanna had her swim lesson. Who knows how, but we came around to the topic of having “that talk” with our kids, how much they know, when the know it, and so on.

One of the moms said, “I really think we’re going to have to say something soon.” Her voice quivered with fear and trepidation. “My sister is pregnant and I know that my daughter [she has two: one about 6 and one about 4] is going to be asking questions about how does the baby get in? How does the baby get out?”

The other mom sighed, relieved. “Well, I’m just really grateful that when my kids have asked, I can just point to my C-section scar and say, the doctor cut me open and took you out.”

I was stunned. Am I the only one here who has talked about this with her kids?

“Well,” I begin, boldly going where no swim mom has gone before. “I just say, ‘God made a special place for the baby to come out. The baby comes out the vag*na.'”

Gasp. Sputter. Faint.

“Oh! My daughter doesn’t even know that word,” said Mom-of-two-girls.

“Oh, no way. My kids know p*nis but not the other. We have a horrible time with ‘potty words.’ I figure if they are calling names using ‘willy’ or ‘wiggle’ or whatever, then at least anyone who may overhear doesn’t know what they’re talking about.”

Um, yea. OK.

Chris and I agreed early on that we would use proper anatomical terms with the kids for their body parts. Their body parts. I can’t help but believe that this tiny, initial step does more to foster comfort and proper context for s*xual*ty than most any other. A child who can say “p*nis” just as he says “arm,” is, in my opinion, going to be OK with the way God made him.

Growing up with no brothers, I think the first time I heard the word, “p*nis” was in the movie, E.T. If you recall, one of the boys calls the other, “p*nis breath.” Everyone laughed, but I had no idea what it meant or why it was funny. We called that body part a “dinky,” which can actually be quite derogatory, if you think about it, but I digress.

But for me, the word, “vag*na” bears greater scars. I must have been at least 10, maybe closer to 12. I had been reading some “female” book that my mom had given me. And while it was helpful in that it told me what I needed to know, there was an unfamiliar word repeated: “vag*na.” I remember going to my mother and saying something about the “VAG (rhymes with hag)-uh-nuh.” Either she corrected my pronunciation or sent me to the bookshelf because I do remember consulting the dictionary for the proper phonetic spelling.

So. I had (have) one and I’d never heard the term. I didn’t know how to say it or what it did. Heck, I probably knew more about the function of my liver than my reproductive system at the time.

One of the greatest temptations for us humans is s*xua*l sin. My goodness. Our culture is saturated with images of how we teach our little girls to be s*xua*lly mature women. We’ll allow her to play with trampy Br*tz dolls (and I will write another post about my loathing and hatred of these toys; stay tuned) but not even teach her about her body, the names of the parts, why God made those parts, and how God created s*x. And our boys? God help our little boys to cherish their wives and guard their eyes, minds, and hearts from all the temptation that screams at them from every magazine cover.

Always relevant, the Bible beautifully maps out God’s intention for human s*xual*ty. The Song of Solomon should be our starting point for s*x ed with our kids. What most parents are too terrified to broach with their kids (sometimes, sadly, Christian parents are the biggest offenders) is that the vulnerable intimacy of the husband and wife relationship on earth is a reflection of the intimacy we will know with our God for all eternity. Celebrating s*x in a biblical manner on earth, then, glorifies God and gives us a unique foreshadow of that which we will enjoy forever.

What an absolute disgusting shame that humanity has soiled and degraded that precious gift of God.

Especially since it makes us feel too uncomforable to tell our six year old daughter that she has a “vag*na.”