Mary Bernard

When our twins were infants, we were in the pediatrician’s office (probably dealing with acid reflux and mind-numbing screaming for hours on end) for an appointment. He told us his youngest child had just begun kindergarten. His comment was something along the lines of, “Enjoy it. The time goes by so quickly.”

I remember thinking then, Enjoy? Enjoy what? Which part of my life should I enjoy? The screaming twins part or the destructive two-year-old part or the post-partum depression fog part?

Seriously, I haven’t “enjoyed” much of the last four years. Sure, once we got past the reflux and PPD and everyone was sleeping on a regular, predictable basis, we had moments of pleasantry. But for the most part, these years of having twin babies with a toddler have been a real blur, with survival as the primary objective.

One of the highlights of the last few years has been my Tuesday morning Bible study. Weekly, I’ve taken the children, left them with the childcare workers, and then enjoyed my Bible study.

I remember one week when the kids were about 4, 2, and 2, it was pouring rain. As we were leaving, I decided to leave the kids inside the church door while I went to pull the van to the curb. I felt that Susanna would do a good job of keeping things “under control,” while I was gone for all of 90 seconds.

I pulled up to the door to find three hysterical kids and a crowd of concerned Bible study ladies trying to console them. I felt like a big, fat, loser mom.

Then last year at the Christmas luncheon, it was—once again—raining. As we left, I was dreading the whole load-twins-in-the-car-with-stuff-in-your-hands-while-holding-an-umbrella routine.

A friend said, “Let them stand here with me under the awning while you get the van.”

Relieved, I said, “OK,” feeling fairly certain I’d return to find two wailing kids with a crowd of concerned Bible study ladies trying to console them.

I hate it when I’m right.

So, today, we arrived for the Christmas luncheon. It was pouring rain this morning, which brought the memories flooding (pun intended) back. Loading. Unloading. Umbrellas. Wet kids. Crying kids. Crowds of concerned Bible study ladies.

Taking a real risk, I pulled up to the awning at the front door.

“Boys, I want you to stay right inside the front door and wait on Mommy. I want you to sit on that bench right there and wait on Mommy and then we’ll go to your class. Do this for Mommy and show Mommy how big you are!”

“OK! OK! Mommy, we will. We can.” A chorus of affirmation came from the backseat.

I walked them to the front door and inside the small lobby area. I parked them on the bench.

“I’ll be right back. Stay right there. Show Mommy how big you are!”

“Alright, Mommy!”

I parked the van and trotted through the rain clutching my umbrella, hoping and praying I could avoid the panicked expressions, wailing sobs, and crowds of concerned Bible study ladies.

I pulled open the door to find my two smiling little boys seated on the bench, right where I’d left them. They were happy, content, and calm.

Best of all, I saw Bible study ladies in the hallway, but they were going about their business and not concerned about my kids one little bit.

I let out a sigh of relief.

I think I’m starting to enjoy life now.

It’s going to be kind of a busy week with a few nights out. Chris has music practice two nights this week, Susanna has her first cheerleading practice (and I’m coaching!), and we have a date night this week.

Monday—steak fajitas (I cooked a flat iron steak on Saturday night)
black beans

Tuesday—Asian tilapia pockets (tilapia fillets on broccoli slaw with garlic, ginger, soy, honey, rice vinegar); bake at 400 degrees for about 15 minutes

Wednesday—crockpot BBQ ribs

Thursday—dinner out/cheerleading practice night!

Friday—date night/kids eat at sitter’s

Saturday—Sloppy Joes, baked potatoes

Sunday—dinner at church/Christmas concert

If your family is like ours, choosing gifts for the grandmothers is always a bit daunting. These two great women, who love our family so well, have everything. They have jewelry and clothing, appliances and tote bags.

What do they not have?

Authors Pam Ferriss, Susan Kelton, and Kathy March have written a new devotional book for grandmothers,
My Grandmother Is … Praying for Me.

Well, they don’t have a brand-new devotional book written by a trio of grandmothers, called My Grandmother Is … Praying for Me. (One of the authors, Pam Ferriss, is a good friend of mine and has been a sweet spiritual mentor to me for ten years.) And I’m telling you, any grandmother in your life needs this book! Don’t miss the opportunity to bless the women you love with the heartfelt and compassionate wisdom of these ladies.

My Grandmother Is … is a beautiful hard-cover book that takes the reader on a journey through the Book of Proverbs. Each page features a brief devotion for each day of the year. The devotions include a selected Proverb, a prayer, and an application of the devotion.

My Grandmother Is … is written from a grandmother’s perspective and is intended for a grandmother (though anyone who has a relationship with a child would enjoy this devotional). The application items are suggestions for grandmother and grandchild to spend time together learning the Proverb. Each month features a different character trait (such as wisdom, self-control, and honesty) with appropriate verses assigned to each.

The book is a beautiful keepsake that is also practical and accessible. The type is easy-to-read in a crisp, attractive presentation. The devotions are bite-size nuggets, perfect for even the busiest grandmother. As a writer and editor, I am so impressed with the breadth of creativity. In writing 365 devotions, prayers, and applications, these ladies never disappoint, always giving fresh and interesting treatments to each day, with appropriate content.

Most importantly, this book is a must-have guide to one of the most often neglected aspects of our Christian lives: consistent, focused, and intentional prayer. The grandmother who uses this book as a prompt for prayer can be assured God hears her and will answer her.

Visit the website to find out more about My Grandmother Is …, the authors, and to purchase copies.

Win a copy of My Grandmother Is … Praying for Me from The Writer’s Block and the books’ authors.

It’s soooooooo easy to enter.

In the comments section below, tell me:

1. Your favorite verse or passage in Proverbs OR a creative way that you pray for loved ones.

To earn additional entries to the contest:

1. Post this contest link to your Facebook page.
2. Tweet this contest link on Twitter.

(Be sure to come back here and put in a separate comment for each additional way you enter. For example, you’d make a separate comment that says, “I posted to my Facebook page,” if you do so.)

The contest will be open until Sunday, December 13, at midnight. You may enter daily (all three ways once per day).

Winner will be announced on Tuesday, December 15, by noon.

Compensation disclosure: I received a complimentary copy of the book, My Grandmother Is … Praying for Me, for review purposes from the authors. The authors contributed a second copy to give away to a reader.

As Chris and I chose music for our wedding, I was adamant that My Favorite Song be included.

My favorite Christmas carol is also My Favorite Song: “O Holy Night.” I love the minor tones and the extreme range of highs and lows. The lyrics beautifully capture the most important event in human history. Really, I could think of no other song more appropriate to mark the most important day in my life.

Chris would have nothing of it. That would be because we got married in the summer. On July 22.

I still maintain it would have been perfectly fine and who the heck cares anyway? It was my wedding. I have witnessed far more shocking things at weddings (sweatpants and baseball caps, for one; yes, I did) than the singing of a so-called unseasonal hymn.

But, anyhoo, I still harp on my dashed musical dreams every Christmas as I enjoy My Favorite Song each year.

I also enjoy this rendition. I only wish I had found this guy to sing at my wedding fourteen years ago. Certainly Chris would have relented, if I had suggested this version.

I’m sitting down to write tonight and just feeling the weight of being a grown-up.

As a child, teen, college student, and even as a young adult, I confronted inevitable tragedies with a hope that things would change and improve. While that is still a somewhat valid coping mechanism, it’s ultimately empty.

That belief places its hope in some nebulous something (what? the future? “life”?) that is fallen, temporary, and unpredictable.

The older I get, the more I realize how empty and futile it is to put my hope in anything in this world.

Within the last couple of weeks, I’ve received all sorts of bad news–sad, heart-breaking, concerning news–from family and friends.

I am faced with so many realities in these sober times.

My loved ones aren’t necessarily going through things that are terribly exceptional. Others have endured similar pain, suffering, and confusion. But their pain is so close.

And it makes me sad.

I am reminded that everything (EVERYthing!) in this world will ultimately disappoint–if not destroy–us.

I can only deal with what “this day” may bring because I have Christ.

So, how do we respond?

• We must live always with the end in mind. I’m not afraid to die, nor do I dread it. No. I want to more deeply, more consistently, more consciously meditate and long for heaven. I am merely a sojourner here. Understanding our place in this world is central to dealing with suffering.
• We must not clutch too tightly to the temporary, sin-tainted things of this world. At best, their good qualities are but a fraction of that which awaits us; at worst, they become “little gods” for us and derail us from the whole-hearted devotion to which God calls us.
• We must prioritize our lives accordingly. One of the most important tasks I see before us Christian parents is to equip our children for their future battles. I don’t know that they will face anything more seemingly insurmountable than other covenant children have faced previously. But I am convicted that we, their parents, are much less prepared to train our children adequately for maturity in the Faith. We must feed our own souls so that we are strengthened to nourish them.
• We must live in the love of Christ. Jesus has conquered all of this! He has defeated sin, death, sorrow, and suffering. Jesus is the Rest that gives a final relief, a complete comfort, and an everlasting peace.

(I’ve submitted this post to the Blog Nosh Magazine’s Loads of Hope for the Holidays Blog Carnival. Read some of the other carnival entries here.)

Oh, good gracious, it’s over.

And I made it.

I blogged every day for the month of November. 30 posts in 30 days.

Today is #30.

It’s been so long since I actually finished something I started (boys’ room, anyone?), that I really don’t know how to feel.

So, I’ve been about three hours behind since last night. See, I was working hard, then blogging, and I realized that I had not eaten dinner (we had had a big lunch out after church). So, I had a peanut butter sandwich at 10:45 last night. (Diet? Eating plan? New lifestyle program? What you talkin’ ’bout, Willis?)

I ran around like crazy today with working my admin job at PureSafety and left there around 2 p.m., not having eaten any lunch. After I picked up the boys from school, we got a snack at McDonald’s because I was starving. So, today I ate lunch at 3 p.m.

Tonight, my meal was on time, but I didn’t get to go grocery shopping until 9 p.m.

And I blame that I’m here now, writing, on the fact that I didn’t eat dinner until 10:30 last night.

Today, I got a notice from the library that an Angelina Ballerina book that we’ve had checked out for months is now so past due that they are threatening to turn me over for collections.

I managed to get the other books that we checked out with this book turned in on time. This one, however, got stuck on the bookshelf, and I forgot we had it.

We now owe $22 or be faced with having a collections agency come after us. I’m reminded of that “Seinfeld” episode where Mr. Bookman is sent after Jerry for a book years overdue.

So, the ironic thing is that we never read this book.

And I was going to write kind of a gripey, whiney complaint post about the library’s getting their panties in a wad over $22 (because I have issues with the library), but then I decided against it. Because—really—oh my goodness, I love the library. A treasure trove of information and entertainment at my disposal for free. Whoever came up with the library is a freaking genius.

I get so much from the library that I’m happy to admit when I mess up and give them their due.

Plus, I’m counting on the canned food trade for book fines in January to clear my account.

A photo of our advent wreath last year, taken on Christmas Day. We have Mary, Joseph, and Baby Jesus surrounding the wreath with our red Christ candle in the middle.

Today marks the first Sunday of Advent.

I remember as a child having an Advent wreath at home. We’d light the candle(s) each week to mark the time leading up to Christmas.

It’s a tradition I want my kids to know and love.

Last year, I finally bought a small brass Advent wreath/candle holder for us. I had tried for years off and on to make wreathes. But with three small kids, I wanted something that was sturdy and safe. Our small wreath is perfect!

Typically, we gather after dinner and read an appropriate Scripture or Bible passage for the corresponding Sunday. We don’t get too technical or too content-heavy. We use our Nativity scene pieces to explain the Sunday (shepherds, angels, and so on). I’ve noticed my kids really learn and relate when they can see, touch, and/or hold a small object. Chris plays guitar and we always sing two or three Christmas carols.

If you want to observe Advent with your kids this year, doing something simple is perfect.

Here’s what you’ll need:

1. Four candles either in a wreath or even four small votives in separate holders will do. If you do want a wreath, buy it now at a Christian bookstore or order online. You can find one for about $20. Several years, I said I’d wait until after Christmas to buy one on sale. They never put them on sale. So, buy it now! Candle colors are usually three purple or blue and one pink. A fifth candle may be added in the center on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day (last year we used a small red candle in a jar) to symbolize Christ.

2. Bible and/or a Children’s Bible. We love, love, love The Jesus Storybook Bible.

3. Music. A musician in the family is wonderful or even some CDs featuring beautiful Christmas music is nice.

Sample order of a Family Advent worship time:

• Light the candle(s). We allow our kids to do this (when age-appropriate).
• Sing a song.
• Read the Bible verse/Bible story.
• Ask the kids questions to engage them in the learning.
• Sing a song.
• Take prayer requests.
• Close in prayer.

A very basic suggested schedule of Advent readings:

First Sunday: the prophets
Candle of Hope
read Micah 5:2 and light the first purple candle

Second Sunday: the angels
Candle of Peace
read Luke 2:8-13 and light the first and second purple candles

Third Sunday: the shepherds
Candle of Joy
read Luke 2:14-17 and light the first and second purple candles and the pink candle

Fourth Sunday: the magi
Candle of Love
read Matthew 2:1-12 and light all the candles

Christmas Eve or Day
the Christ Candle
read John 1:1-5 and light all the candles including the Christ candle

You may find all sorts of variations of this outline online. In fact, I’ll admit that our family’s schedule is an amalgam of things we’ve read and things we believe will stick with our kids. Tailor your Advent Worship time to your own family.

And a final word: Don’t fret if you haven’t “started yet.” You aren’t late! Just pick up with the appropriate Sunday. We usually do a “little something” about the Advent lesson on most nights of the week during a family worship time. We light the candle(s) every night because the kids love it.

If you’ve wanted to start a Family Worship time or you’ve wanted to re-energize the time you’ve observed in the past, Advent is a great season to bring the family together and focus on Christ.

I’d love to hear more about your Advent and Christmas traditions!

I’m blogging about how I don’t have anything really to blog about tonight. I know I probably have something to say, but I’m too tired to put enough energy into a creative post.

So, goodnight. See you tomorrow.

Despite it being a holiday week, I’ve found a few stories in the news worthy of mention. I’m not sure that I have any real insightful commentary, but they are all interesting.

Ever since the popularity of the Nun Bun, I’ve been examining my food for resemblances to Jesus. If I could just find that one peanut butter sandwich with an image of a long-haired, bearded man, then I could sell it on eBay and make thousands of dollars.

photo: Grant Morris, staff photographer, Eagle Tribune

Hasn’t happened yet. But I read this week about a woman who found a picture of Jesus on the bottom of her iron. She feels blessed by this image on her appliance. She claims she will keep the iron in a safe spot and get a new iron. Mark my words: that iron will appear on eBay in the not-so-distant future.

I’m always intrigued by people who:

1. “find” pictures of Jesus in their food or on the walls AND
2. actually ascribe legitimate elements of faith to these so-called images.

——-

The party crashing couple at the White House state dinner this week just amazes me. First, the level of incompetency by the Secret Service is astounding, as well as terrifying. But the party crashers? On the one hand, I must applaud their creativity and cunning.

The couple not only got past the Secret Service (when they were not on the guest list), but they also managed to greet the President in the receiving line and be photographed with the Vice-President.

——–

Tonight on 20/20 real-life “vampires” were featured. I place real-life “vampires” in the same category as real-life “unicorns” or real-life “leprechauns.” These people are really weird, claiming they must “feed” in order to feel alive. Some “feed” on others’ creativity or energy, while some “feed” on human blood. That’s right. They drink the blood of other humans. And they showed it on 20/20. And it was gross and fascinating at the same time.

I am worn to a pulp but happy and full.

After last night’s marathon prepping/cleaning session, I worked this morning on finishing everything.

The meal was fantastic and my turkey turned out perfectly! Just as anticipated: tender, moist, flavorful. And my dressing? So savory! I made cranberry sauce myself and narrowly averted a sugar disaster. The recipe called for 1 cup of sugar, but I only had about 1/2 cup on hand. (I can’t believe I forgot to buy sugar!) I used brown sugar to make up the difference, and it was just fine.

I am continually amazed at a few things when it comes to hosting family and guests in our home for holiday meals:

• I could wear my bikini (OK; you know I don’t really HAVE a bikini, but go with the illustration, OK?) while cleaning and cooking and I would still sweat like a pig. With a hot oven and people crammed in the house, I just about DIE of sweating.
• When I am in the throes of cooking, preparation, and getting food on the table at a certain time, my children are ESPECIALLY needy, clingy, and underfoot. Moving a hot pan of something from point A to point B? There’s a kid right behind me. Balancing breakable dishes in my hands? Kid’s there tugging on my pants. Wanting food, drink, to watch a show, to ask for the millioneth time when we will eat—you name it and my kids are on it. There could be 15 adults within an arm’s reach and every child, every time, would find me, in the recesses of the house when I am engaged in some important and timely activity.
• My father is LOUD. Very loud. Very, very, very loud. He’s a loud talker; a loud laugher; a loud cougher. And if you want to be heard, you have to be loudER than Daddy. And that gives me a headache. A lot.
• BIG mistake: raising the issue of the Adam Lambert performance at the AMA’s. Big. Mistake. Somehow this comment digressed eventually to outsourcing American jobs to countries overseas. Huh? I have no idea. (Thanks, Chris.)
• Wine. Wine is always a good idea at any family gathering. More wine? Yes, thank you.

Happy Thanksgiving, y’all.