Wedding Adventure

When my twins were born, I lost my mind.

Then, I found it again, thanks to a precious angel named Audrey.

Audrey came to my home and took care of me–uh, I mean–the babies a few days a week. Audrey would do things like wash/dry/fold my laundry (exactly the way I liked it) AND put it away before I even knew it was dirty. One day she arrived at 9 a.m. with a roast and veggies: “Hey, Mary, I’ll put this in the oven for dinner, OK?” She kept our home neat and took good care of the dog. She expertly anticipated MY every need and the babies’ every need with impeccable timing and consistency.

I really don’t exaggerate when I say that she saved my life during that first year of the babies’ lives.

Last night, Audrey got married.

I wouldn’t have missed her wedding for anything. Not even a torrential downpour on a national holiday.

Not even.

Just as we got in the van to drive the 45 minutes to the wedding (with all three kids, mind you), the raindrops started coming. No biggie, we thought. These summer showers have a tendency to pop up and move out. Plus, when’s the last time we middle Tennesseans remember rainfall on the 4th of July?

We actually had trouble seeing the road at times as we headed east on I-40. When we almost missed our exit because of the blinding rain, we decided this was no pop-up shower.

The wedding was special for many reasons:

• It was at the brides’ home
• It was outdoors
• It was a double wedding (Audrey and her sister, Courtney)
• It was on the Fourth of July
• It was my precious Audrey’s big day!

Rain did not fit in with this picture.

We got there and had to wait in line for the valet. All the valets were soaked from head to toe. We dropped off the van and carefully made our way (read: jumping over puddles and still managing to sink my sandal heel in mud) to the humongous tent. It was kind of bizarre because people were already sitting at the tables, which had obviously been set for the reception. We tried to figure out where to sit, what to do, and finally took a seat at an empty table near the back of the tent.

We decided that perhaps the original plan was to have the ceremony under a beautifully-decorated arch then the people were to move under the tent for the reception. But Plan B dictated that everybody and everyTHING begin under the tent.

The ceremony had to be postponed about 20 minutes because the cars were so backed up. Finally, at 7:20, the ceremony began.

My kids did surprisingly well, despite it was really their bedtime. Seth was a bit grumpy. He had fallen asleep on the way there. I whispered to him, “Look! There’s Ms. Audrey and her sister. Aren’t they beautiful?” He looked over the crowd and said, “All I see are princesses.”

And they did look like princesses. They were gorgeous. The bridesmaids were gorgeous. The decorations were gorgeous.

The ceremony was rather brief. I couldn’t see a thing, except the faint outline of one of the bridesmaids. Every now and then the rain would let up and you could almost hear the guests let out a sigh and a prayer: Maybe it’s stopped? But in a few minutes, we’d hear another roar of thunder and the heavy pitter-pat on the tent. Then, you could hear the ripple of the whispers, “Here it comes again!”

It really was quite a mess. I just felt for Audrey and Courtney and their parents. I know they had had visions of kissing in the sunset while their guests enjoyed fireworks on the grass in the gentle breeze.

Alas, it was not to be.

One of the highlights for me was the port-a-potty. I actually had rehearsed the whole bathroom thing in my mind: where will we go potty? In the poolhouse? Surely not inside the house? Oh, please, no, not one of those gross, chemical, green boxes! Of course I think about this because I have three kids.

Oh, no. This port-a-potty was AMAZING! It was actually nicer than the half bath at our old house. Seriously. It was a little trailer-looking building with three little rooms. I took Seth in. The potty had air conditioning and music playing over a loud speaker. The potty was a real one with water and flushing mechanism (no gross blue chemicals). There was a pretty floor and pretty walls. The counter was large enough to accommodate a bag and the basin was one of those new bowl-types with a sleek, silver faucet fixture. I’m telling you. It was comfortable and attractive. My kind of port-a-potty.

The food (full dinner spread) smelled incredible, but with cranky kids and all the bad weather, we opted to leave. We ran through some sprinkles and got to say hello to Audrey. As we made our way to the van, we overheard Audrey’s mom talking to the guy in charge of the tent. I heard her ask, “How much water will this tent hold?”

Apparently, there was some discussion of the cars getting stuck in the grass/mud combination and we had to creatively “meet” our van at a location other than the drop-off point, which was down the driveway a bit.

As I was expressing my feelings for Audrey and Courtney and what must be disappointment, my realistic husband reminded me: “You know. This really doesn’t matter. What matters is that they are married. In the end, they are married.”

Yes, they are. Congratulations and best wishes!