Ten Things I Never Thought I’d Do (or Say) as a Mother

Motherhood has been and continues to be the most exhausting, challenging, stimulating, surprising, and soul-searching endeavor upon which I’ve ever embarked. No book, class, seminar, or magazine article could have prepared me for the astonishing changes motherhood brought to my life.

As I was getting dressed this morning, I thought, Who am I? Hmmm. Where is that girl I knew ten years ago? 

She’s morphed into this mom who is surprised to discover she’s always doing or saying something she never dreamed of.

1. I never thought I’d be anything but a perfect, pearl-clad mom, looking crisp in penny loafers and a button-down Oxford blouse.
2. I never thought I’d say such things as, “You can’t go potty with a pancake in your hand” and “No. You can’t take your guns to church.”
3. I never thought I’d give the pits a sniff, declare, “good enough!”, slather on the second third coat of deodorant, get dressed, and go out in public.
4. I never thought I’d not leave the house for 13 consecutive days. And by “leave the house,” I mean, Not. Leave. The. House. Not to the porch, to the mailbox, to the garbage can. 13. Days. Inside. My. House. With acid refluxy twins. 
5. I never thought I’d have guests in my home when I hadn’t mopped the floors or dusted the furniture in a few months days.
6. I never thought I’d look forward to “introspective alone time” at the grocery store.
7. I never thought I’d be 40 pounds overweight–at five years post-partum.
8. I never thought I could have breastfed twins for nine months.
9. I never thought my idea of a fun evening would involve Seinfeld reruns, a bowl of popcorn, and a 10 p.m. bedtime. 
10. I never thought I’d be anything but a perfect, pearl-clad mom, looking crisp in penny loafers and a button-down Oxford blouse.

How has motherhood surprised you? 

I’m linking this post today at Oh Amanda’s Top Ten Tuesday. Visit there to read more top ten lists!

photo: esrasu