I’m Supposed to Enjoy This?

When our twins were infants, we were in the pediatrician’s office (probably dealing with acid reflux and mind-numbing screaming for hours on end) for an appointment. He told us his youngest child had just begun kindergarten. His comment was something along the lines of, “Enjoy it. The time goes by so quickly.”

I remember thinking then, Enjoy? Enjoy what? Which part of my life should I enjoy? The screaming twins part or the destructive two-year-old part or the post-partum depression fog part?

Seriously, I haven’t “enjoyed” much of the last four years. Sure, once we got past the reflux and PPD and everyone was sleeping on a regular, predictable basis, we had moments of pleasantry. But for the most part, these years of having twin babies with a toddler have been a real blur, with survival as the primary objective.

One of the highlights of the last few years has been my Tuesday morning Bible study. Weekly, I’ve taken the children, left them with the childcare workers, and then enjoyed my Bible study.

I remember one week when the kids were about 4, 2, and 2, it was pouring rain. As we were leaving, I decided to leave the kids inside the church door while I went to pull the van to the curb. I felt that Susanna would do a good job of keeping things “under control,” while I was gone for all of 90 seconds.

I pulled up to the door to find three hysterical kids and a crowd of concerned Bible study ladies trying to console them. I felt like a big, fat, loser mom.

Then last year at the Christmas luncheon, it was—once again—raining. As we left, I was dreading the whole load-twins-in-the-car-with-stuff-in-your-hands-while-holding-an-umbrella routine.

A friend said, “Let them stand here with me under the awning while you get the van.”

Relieved, I said, “OK,” feeling fairly certain I’d return to find two wailing kids with a crowd of concerned Bible study ladies trying to console them.

I hate it when I’m right.

So, today, we arrived for the Christmas luncheon. It was pouring rain this morning, which brought the memories flooding (pun intended) back. Loading. Unloading. Umbrellas. Wet kids. Crying kids. Crowds of concerned Bible study ladies.

Taking a real risk, I pulled up to the awning at the front door.

“Boys, I want you to stay right inside the front door and wait on Mommy. I want you to sit on that bench right there and wait on Mommy and then we’ll go to your class. Do this for Mommy and show Mommy how big you are!”

“OK! OK! Mommy, we will. We can.” A chorus of affirmation came from the backseat.

I walked them to the front door and inside the small lobby area. I parked them on the bench.

“I’ll be right back. Stay right there. Show Mommy how big you are!”

“Alright, Mommy!”

I parked the van and trotted through the rain clutching my umbrella, hoping and praying I could avoid the panicked expressions, wailing sobs, and crowds of concerned Bible study ladies.

I pulled open the door to find my two smiling little boys seated on the bench, right where I’d left them. They were happy, content, and calm.

Best of all, I saw Bible study ladies in the hallway, but they were going about their business and not concerned about my kids one little bit.

I let out a sigh of relief.

I think I’m starting to enjoy life now.