Archives for September 2008

Today, on the eve of my 38th birthday, I realized that I am …
1. Slow and
2. Tired.

You see, a control-freak, perfectionist such as I really wants to be …
1. Quick and
2. Energetic.

But, alas, I AM NOT.

Perhaps it’s my age. Or my kids. Or all those all-nighters I pulled in college the night before the test/the essay was due/the speech was to be made. Maybe it was the 14-days-in-a-row (12-hour) shifts I’d work in TV news and I’m burned out.

I think it’s also just a healthy dose of Genes or The Way God Made Me.

I’ve always been a procrastinator. But as I’ve gotten older and The Basic Necessities of Life tend to take so much time on such a regular basis, I’ve also become Tired.

Slow and Tired don’t mix very well.

But as with most every other quirky aspect of my life, if I really try to uncover a Deeper Meaning or a Lesson to be Learned, I can.

You see, when I’m Slow and Tired, I have very little of Me left to rely on. In a Slow and Tired fit, I wonder how in the world I’ll get it all done? I constantly look around me at all the Quick and Energetic and deride myself for my slowness and tiredness. I lose sight of the blessings of being Slow and Tired: Deliberateness, Thoughtfulness, Caution, Ability to Rest.

Once again, God is trying to teach me those same ole lessons. Stop the comparisons to others. God’s approval–not man’s approval–is the only one that matters. God made me me and gave me my life, my personality, my abilities, my responsibilities for many different reasons, chief of which is to glorify God. Relying on my own strength–whether I’m Slow and Tired or Quick and Energetic–is always a plan for failure.

God says that his strength is made perfect in my weakness. When I am Slow, God is always Timely. When I am Tired, God never ceases to uphold the universe.

I read a prayer from someone a few days ago that asked God to make the writer’s home a “showcase of God’s glory.”

I also pray for a showcase of God’s glory, grace, love, and strength.

What better way for him to do accomplish that than with a Slow and Tired mom like me?

Playing on Papa’s “tractor.” Seth on the left and Spencer on the right. I think they really look alike in this picture.

Thanks, everyone, for participating in my Halloween costume poll.

I had 13 votes. Wow! Didn’t know I broke double digits with my reader count.

Princess Leia, R2-D2, and Yoda won, taking 9 votes!

Oh, my! What pressure.

Now I’ve got to come up with actual costumes.

(And you know I’ve not even started. Not even.)

My first car, the Buick Skylark (circa 1981). Ours looked like this one but was kind of yellowish/tan with a brown roof. One of my sister’s friends dubbed it, “the family size sports car.” I think I lost count how many times it was wrecked.

I really have a lot of fond memories around cars in high school.

Did you play “freeze out”? When it’s really cold outside, you roll down all the windows and turn on the A/C full blast. You see how long you can go before someone says, “enough.” We’d play “heat out,” too, in the summer.

One friend, David, got his grandmother’s (how’s that for humility–a high school boy gets his grandmother’s car?) little baby blue hatchback wagon. I’m not sure what make and model it was. But it was oblong. He nicknamed it, “the Little Blue Suppository,” and that it was. My friend Sherry reminded me the other day that once when David was riding us all around, someone (probably me) chastised him for driving too fast. So, he started driving slowly. Much more slowly. Like 20 miles an hour. And Sherry remembered that he drove the Little Blue Suppository (LBS) at 20 miles an hour all the way across town.

My friend, Hunter, could always make me laugh. He had a real impatience with other drivers. (If Hunter was in the car during the SLOW LBS ride, I’m sure he was fuming!) Unfortunately, most of these were older persons who were in no particular hurry and probably a little bit indecisive anyway. He was perpetually waiting on some car in front of him or facing him at an intersection to decide what to do. Was the car turning left or right? Would the car take his turn at the 4-way stop? When could Hunter go?

“Commit to the intersection!!!” Hunter would yell, hoping to spur on the indecisive driver in front of him.

I would just laugh and laugh.

Now, Hunter’s words play over and again every time I inch up to a 4-way stop or red light. I am committed to the intersection and all its rules! My biggest pet peeve lately is when it is not my turn to go at the 4-way stop, yet the driver of another car waves me through. I throw up the obligatory hand wave, as if to acquiesce that I am the dumbest driver on the planet who needs the driver opposite me to tell me when to go.

But that’s not the case, and going through the intersection out of turn just messes up the whole thing. I don’t know, like throwing off the balance of the universe or something. Like wearing mismatched socks and eating breakfast for dinner (yes, I’ve done it but it still doesn’t feel right to me).

Heed Hunter’s words, people, and “Commit to the intersection!”

Please.

I’ve sort of waited around to write about the election because, well, I’m just so darned confused!

The level of inconsistencies and hypocrisy among candidates and supporters on both sides continues to astonish me. Just when I hear something that, to me, rings authentic and refreshing, I find out within a day that it’s just another misrepresentation of the truth.

What I find so interesting is my friends’ level of allegiance to … something? I can’t put my finger on it because for the life of me, I don’t understand how they can so vigorously defend (while vigorously insulting the opposition) either candidate/party when each has such glaring shortcomings. My friends wouldn’t tolerate such behavior in their children, yet they participate and condone meanness and truth-stretching when it comes to cheering for their politician or party. For many, support comes down to one or two “litmus test” positions. People: do you understand that the politicians know this? Once they take a stand on a certain something and let you know that, they know they have you. I beg you: listen, read, investigate. Strategists know which issues motivate the party. Sadly, these positions can be convenient distractions from other issues.

Can you not see the hypocrisy in all that’s spinning around right now? Palin supporters are virtually dismissing her daughter’s pregnancy, while I can almost guarantee that had Chelsea Clinton gotten pregnant out of wedlock, we’d never hear the end of what a bad, absent mother Hillary was. Remember the ire about Hillary’s comment in 1992 about not “baking cookies” and “standing by her man”? What criticism from the Right! Well, that’s what Sarah Palin is doing: away from her home and not baking cookies, yet the Right seems sort of quiet on that subject.

Now, the Left is quick to jump in with criticism for Palin who has chosen to pursue a career and have five children. All of a sudden, the Left is concerned with how a mother will take care of her children and her job. If Palin were a man, this wouldn’t be on the radar. The Left questions her decision to have a fifth child at her age, in her addition to her career, and with known special needs. For those critics who also claim to be “pro-choice,” aren’t you 100% “pro-choice”? A consistent position would have supported her decision to abort, while also supporting her choice to conceive whenever she chooses and bring that pregnancy to fruition. (I am pro-life, but my point here is that I abhor inconsistencies in argument and defense. Even if I disagree with your position, I respect it more when you are consistent in its presentation.)

I do agree with the consensus of the political commentators that the election has turned away from issues and towards one of personalities and culture wars. While personality and lifestyle and likability are all important, we must have a shred of discernment when it comes to lending our support. Guess what, people? At the end of the day, politics and government in today’s country are all about business. Marketing and spin and lobbyists and special interests have hi-jacked the process. Sadly, many of us play right into their hands. We are a people who have been shaped by advertising and satisfying any whim when we choose.

So, it’s no wonder that we rally around those candidates that we perceive are “just like me” or “understand my plight.” For real??? I’m not discounting their experiences or passion (which may or may not be real; I don’t know for sure because I am jaded and now don’t believe much of what anybody says), but by virtue of where and who they are, they are not just like me. No way. It’s not their current plight to be overdrawn (again!) with no milk in the house and still five days to the next payday. It’s just not.

I still don’t know who I’m going to vote for. My fear is that even if I hear or see some stance or ideology in a candidate that I support I can’t be certain he or his administration will go that way at all. In my mind, it’s all a crap-shoot. Just shut your eyes, do “eenie-meenie-miney-moe,” and hope for the best.

Our country needs critical reform and return to Constitutional standards. Unfortunately, I’m not sure we’ll get it with these candidates in 2008.

And once the election is over and the new administration is sworn in, I fear we’ll all go back to the dailiness of life. We’ll continue to complain about and cheer for superficialities while our children’s future continues a downward spiral.

(Spencer holding crotch, squeezing legs together and hopping.)
Mom: Spencer, do you need to go potty?
Spencer: No. I’m just jumping.

(Spencer holding crotch and flailing arms and legs.)
Mom: Spencer, do you need to go pee-pee?
Spencer: No. I’m just dancing.

(Spencer holding crotch and running in circles around the room.)
Mom: Spencer, do you need to go potty?
Spencer: No. I’m just jogging.